Your parents have gotten divorced, or are in the process of getting divorced. How do you handle the holidays?
It can be difficult to navigate the holidays as an adult with divorced parents. Fortunately, it doesn’t have to be an impossible feat. We’re about to walk you through exactly how to handle the holidays when your parents are divorced or are about to be.
1. Practice the Art of Forgiveness
Forgiveness is vital to handling the holidays with divorced parents. When your parents got divorced, you likely had a range of emotions, going from confused to angry to resentful. The holidays are a perfect time to practice the art of forgiveness. Forgive both parents for their role in the divorce. Understand that the divorce wasn’t about you, and forgive yourself if you’ve taken it personally.
Anytime you feel a rising negative emotion, such as anger, take it as a sign to practice forgiveness. Let go of these emotions and simply love your parents for who they are.
2. Cultivate Family Unity
The holidays are a perfect time to unify the family. Suggest that both parents attend your Christmas get-together. Or, suggest that one of them hosts the event and invites the other parent. Bringing both parents together, along with all the children and grandchildren, will help create a positive holiday season.
If you cannot bring everyone together physically, try to do so emotionally. If one parent starts being negative about the divorce, steer the conversation in another direction. Try to remind everyone that the family needs to be unified; it’s what the holidays are all about!
3. Avoid Gossiping with Either Parent
You’ll likely be spending time with both parents throughout the course of the holiday season. It will likely be separate. Avoid gossiping with your parent about the other parent. This does not foster forgiveness, nor does it cultivate unity. It will only serve to reinforce negative emotions and drive a wedge between the family, and that’s the opposite of what the holidays are all about.
Should one parent start gossiping about the other, simply say that you don’t wish to hear it and change the subject.
4. Spend Time with Both Parents
Your parents may not want to attend the same events to cultivate unity. Instead, make a point of spending time with both parents during the holidays. You’ll show both of them that you still care about them and that one of them didn’t ‘win’ the divorce.
Scheduling time with both parents can be difficult, especially if they live in different cities. If this is the case, spend one holiday with one parent and then spend the next holiday with the other parent.
Remember, phone calls are also appreciated. If you spend Christmas morning with one parent, spend the afternoon on the phone with the other parent. You’ll show that you care, even if you can’t be there in person.
5. Nurture Your Own Marriage
Are you married? Spend the holidays nurturing your own marriage. Let your spouse know that you love them. You don’t have to make the holidays all about your divorced parents; it’s okay to make it about you and your spouse. Let the divorce of your parents serve as a reminder that marriages need work, and put that work into your own marriage.
Contact Wall & Wall Attorneys at Law SLC Utah Divorce Attorneys for a Free Consultation
Are you going through a divorce in Salt Lake City, Utah? You need the right legal team on your side. We’re here to help. Wall & Wall Attorneys at Law is well equipped to help you have a fair and equitable divorce. Contact Wall & Wall Attorneys at Law today for a free consultation to help you navigate this trying time.
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