Many of our recently divorced clients come into the law office depressed this time of year. They have seen the commercials portraying happy couples. They believe that their recent divorce is proof of failure. After all, being alone on Valentine’s Day is evidence of being unloved, right? No, that is not correct. Valentine’s Day should be about celebrating love. Everyone is capable of loving and being loved. Divorced people must embrace this positive concept of love. Those who do, find that they actually enjoy the holiday period more than ever. Here are some ways to do just that.

Demonstrate Love of Others

Think about the marriage breakup. Surely there were some people who remained true throughout the ordeal. Valentines is a perfect time to honor their loyalty. Take one of them out to dinner. Buy them a card. These simple acts will demonstrate a deep appreciation and understanding of true love.

Practice Self-Love

Before anyone can accept the love of another, they first have to believe themselves worthy. The inability to do so is the cause of many marriage problems. Valentine’s Day is an opportunity for the divorced to take advantage of some “me” time. Look in the mirror and express out loud something positive each day leading up to the holiday.  Eventually, a positive self-image will supplant the negative one many embrace following a divorce. Getting a spa treatment is another nice way to celebrate Valentine’s. The physical attention will generate sensations perhaps long dormant.

Give to Strangers

Our divorced clients often feel betrayed by their family and friends. They can begin to sour on all relations. A means to cure this negative disposition is giving to strangers. Volunteer at a local charitable agency on Valentine’s Day. Some clients enjoy helping at a local homeless shelter. Taking time from a busy day to read books to the elder is another way to feel better about life. Giving of time and love to strangers rekindles faith in humankind. There is life after divorce after all.

Spend Time With Kids

Those who have kids should spend time with them. Some clients allow their failed marriage to cause a strain on their relationship with the kids. Never forget that hope in the future lies in the hearts of children.

Take the kids out to dinner or maybe go see a movie. Enjoy a nice, rich dessert. Put some extra butter on the popcorn. Life is meant to be enjoyed with loved ones. Celebrate true love by spending Valentines with the kids. They will never forget the occasion.

Avoid Trying to Find Romantic Love

A common mistake we see among the divorced is trying to find love. These people want to prove themselves still capable of being loved. However, the mistake is to equate love with being in a romantic relationship.

It is actually not difficult to find someone willing to become a lover. There are numerous dating sites out there these days. The problem is making a true love connection. In most cases, love takes time to materialize. Never spend Valentine’s Day watching sappy romance movies. These stories just serve to create misunderstandings about the holiday.

Moreover, never call a former spouse on the phone, especially after a few drinks. Remember, Valentine’s is about celebrating love, not finding someone to sport around town as a trophy.

Last Thoughts

Try to focus on the present, not the past or future. Dwelling on a failed marriage does nobody any good. Also, trying to right things by dreaming about a future relationship only leads to increased levels of stress. Relax and live for today.

Last, but not least, Happy Valentine’s Day, from the staff at Wall & Wall, P.C. in Salt Lake City, Utah!

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