Kids that have experienced their parents getting a divorce grow up to be resilient and learn to see life’s challenges from a different perspective. At first, they may experience social anxiety and worry about dropping grades, not receiving moral support from both parents, and loss of companionship from mom or dad.
Different kids handle divorce differently and knowing your kids well should be the first step before you book them in for counseling. During this period, it’s important that you know what’s going through their minds, and their personal opinion on how the separation is likely to affect their future. Knowing these five concerns by kids of divorce should help you prepare your children for an uncertain future, but mostly to reassure them that you still care.
1. Children are Likely to Identify with the Same-Sex Parent. Don’t Deny Them the Right.
Male children raised under the guardianship of the father learn the values of hard work, perseverance, discipline in work, loyalty to family, and being the moral pillar of the family. On the other hand, girls identify more easily with their moms, and they learn more about their womanhood and taking care of their family. These simple values are what will make them desirable companions for their future partners.
2. Divorce May Scare Teens Off Long-Term Commitments.
At the rate couples are getting separated, the sacred union is under threat, mostly because many teens raised by divorced parents have already seen the ugly side, and therefore lose faith in long-term commitments. When they finally find a suitor, they are likely to have trust issues and relationship anxieties.
3. Kids are Happy to See their Parents Thriving on Their Own.
The now single parents may try to find happiness, by using the extra time alone working on their dreams, and trying to achieve success. And it works for those that try hard enough. Kids love seeing their parents relish in their newfound independence, and happiness, and this makes them take it even more positively.
4. Don’t Try to Force a Happy Face.
Kids want to express their true feelings, and they need a friendly atmosphere to earn your trust, so they can open up even more. They need reassurance that they are experiencing normal feelings, rather than forcing them to put up a happy face always.
Most kids are left feeling guilty, thinking they are the root of the problem. Some may have a problem expressing themselves outwardly to their parents, and instead, act out in public, or in school. Dealing with such feelings on the onset might prevent bigger problems that may manifest later as a result of suppressed emotions.
5. Teach Them Essential Values Rather Than Try to Control Them.
Divorce makes the kids even more stubborn to control, which is why you shouldn’t try to force it on them. They require a lot of patience, as they learn to be more independent. Communicate positive values, assert important expectations such as homework and curfews, and teach them how to deal with the conflict of trying to be normal while growing up in a family of divorce. Reassure them they are not alone!
Get a Free Consultation with Our SLC, Utah Divorce Lawyer at Wall & Wall Attorneys at Law
Do you need advice on how to work around your kids’ concerns about divorce? Share with us and we’ll guide you through everything you need to learn! At Wall & Wall Attorneys at Law, we have over 190 years of combined legal experience helping families in Utah with all kinds of divorce and family law issues. We work hard to protect your rights! Give us a call today for a free consultation!