If your friend is in the middle of a divorce it’s only natural to offer help, but what help is the most meaningful? Since divorce involves financial, emotional and spiritual pain, it’s one of the most traumatic experiences imaginable and requires special consideration. Fortunately, there are meaningful things you can do to help that go beyond the superficial.
1. Avoid Criticisms
It’s tempting to criticize your friend’s former spouse, especially if the marriage is ending because of infidelity or abuse. However, it’s better to take the high road and avoid negativity, so that your friend’s transition can be as smooth and positive as possible. Also, divorcing couples can reconcile before their court proceedings are final, or later in life, and harsh criticism now can complicate your friendship in the future.
Criticism of your friend’s actions should also be tempered or phrased in a way that’s constructive. If your friend caused the divorce, blaming them is not the support they need. Rather, you can let them know that you care about them, even if they’ve made mistakes. There is nothing worse than not allowing your friend to admit their mistake and not letting them live it down.
2. Help with Chores
If you’re friend has children or a busy work schedule, a sudden loss of a partner can make day-to-day living much more difficult. Your friend may struggle to clean their house, get their kids to school on time and juggle court proceedings, making life frustrating. You can step in and help with babysitting, chores or even with cooking, just so your friend has a chance to breath.This type of support isn’t necessarily glamourous, but it can have positive reverberations for your friend during their challenging life change.
You can also help with generosity in the areas of groceries or entertainment, if money is tight during the divorce proceedings. This type of giving can enhance your friendship and provide much needed comfort, if you are able to complete chores without asking for compensation. Even small gestures of giving can make a world of difference and make a divorcee’s life easier.
3. Provide Companionship
Divorcing is emotionally draining and can lead to loneliness, especially for those that were married for many years. A sudden empty house or dinners out alone are hard to deal with, which is why companionship is a meaningful form of support. Whether it’s Saturday morning coffee or a night at home watching TV with a divorcing friend, time spent together can lift spirits and provide hope. You don’t have to do much other than remain positive and let your friend know that you care.
4. Be Sincere
Platitudes and false concern can make someone going through divorce disconcerted and leave them feeling vulnerable. If you’re going to offer your support, sincerity is critical for helping your friend get through their ordeal. That means following through on commitments and listening to your friend’s thoughts and feelings. If for whatever reason you’re not able to provide attentive care and availability, you can step aside and let others support your divorcing friend.
5. Champion Their Cause
If your friend isn’t familiar with legal matters or is unsure how to proceed with their divorce to get the most beneficial outcome, you can step in and champion your friend’s cause. This means taking notes on issues associated with divorce, creating a list of potential attorneys or legal services and even setting up consultations on their behalf. This sort of effort can not only be comforting to your friend, showing them that you care, but it can also reduce the burden of divorce on your friend’s life. The net result being a better quality of life for your friend, along with the potential for better legal outcomes.
Compassionate and Experienced Divorce Attorneys at Wall & Wall Attorneys at Law in SLC, UT Are Here to Help
The emotional stress and social stigmas of divorce are enough to drive anyone to the breaking point, but there is hope. Helping a divorcing friend means sincere and heartfelt support that brings positivity into the divorcee’s life. To learn more about divorce and how to approach this difficult matter, please contact our experienced Salt Lake City, Utah divorce attorneys at Wall & Wall Attorneys at Law today. Give us a call at 801-948-2188 for a free consultation.