If you’re going through a divorce, you know how desperate and weary you can feel. You may lose the will to fight and, unwittingly, give away your power, energy and ability to take charge of your destiny just when you need it most. Many people fall into this trap every day.
What does it mean to “have power?” Power is the ability to control and create positive change and growth in your life. It’s the ability to restrain how you react to and feel about situations. It’s understanding and accepting who you are and what you want, and it’s making no apologies for living your life the way you see fit.
To retain your personal strength, assertiveness and will to fight another day in your divorce, avoid these four actions.
Ending Up in Court
By allowing a judge, who isn’t familiar with your specific situation, to determine how you and your children will live your lives, you give away power. In any other situation, would you allow someone who doesn’t know to decide when you can see your children, how you’ll arrange for child care, or how you’ll spend your money? This is why we stress the importance of divorce mediation, and trying to come to an agreement there. Mediation allows couples to determine their own futures.
Not Consulting an Attorney
We understand that an individual’s situation may not allow you to hire the best attorney, but that’s no reason not to seek any advice. At Wall & Wall we offer do-it-yourself divorce help where you can prepay for a single appointment with an attorney, where they can help answer questions or file motions, and you can do this without paying the usual fees. Don’t go through a divorce without receiving professional advice from an experienced divorce attorney that can allow you to make sound decisions. An experienced attorney will assist you at each step of your divorce, including:
- Petitioning the court for a legal separation agreement.
- Filing appropriate paperwork to initiate divorce proceedings.
- Securing a temporary divorce order covering alimony, child support, and child custody.
- Completing the divorce discovery process, including necessary disclosures and depositions.
Letting Your Divorce Attorney Handle Everything without Question
Even if you have the world’s best family law and divorce attorney, it’s up to you to make good choices. No one has more of a stake in how your life turns out than you, and no one else has to live with the decisions made in your divorce. By passively allowing your attorney to call all the shots and hoping it all works out, you give away your power. Your attorney is there to inform you and to empower you to make the best decisions, not make all decisions for you.
Giving Up Rather Than Fighting
Divorce is no reason to lay down and become a doormat. Instead, it should provide you with a jolt of realization that you’re an amazing person who should act in the best interest of the child(ren), and not trying to hurt your ex.
On the other hand, being unreasonable may not benefit you in the end, especially if the divorce drags out and causes you and your children unnecessary emotional distress. But in matters that are most important to you, don’t simply surrender because you’re tired of fighting or don’t think it will work. You may need to give up on one battle to win the larger war, but be sure to get what really matters to you.
Don’t Go Through Divorce Alone – Contact Utah Divorce Attorneys for a Free Consultation
When you need assistance from experienced attorneys who will make you feel comfortable discussing personal situations, you need Wall & Wall, P.C. To speak with a talented, compassionate attorney, call (801) 274-3100 or fill out our contact form for a no-obligation, 30 min. consultation.