Celebrating the holiday as a divorcee can be a difficult thing to do. This is particularly true if the holiday is a celebration of a day focusing on you as a parent, such as Mother’s or Father’s Day. It is important to honor the needs of your ex to celebrate their day without interference from you or any added complications. Surviving these special holidays can be a bit easier with these tips and suggestions from the law offices of Wall & Wall.
Celebrating a Stress-Free Mother’s Day
Mother’s Day has been an official celebration since it became a holiday in 1914. It is important to create an environment that is respectful of her day and removes any focus on your past issues or controversies. Some important things to remember include:
- If you have a shared or joint custody arrangement and Mother’s Day falls on your date of custody, make accommodations for your children to be with her.
- If your ex-wife has a significant relationship or is remarried, respect the boundaries of their relationship. Although it may be awkward for you to consent to having the children spend time with your ex-spouse and her significant other, it is in the best interest of your children to stand to the side and allow this to take place.
- Help your children pick out an appropriate gift, or encourage them to bring flowers or some other special gift when they see her.
- If you agree to spend time with your ex-spouse or plan any events with your children for her special day, do so but within prescribed boundaries. Do not use such planning or any time spent to send mixed signals to your ex-spouse or children regarding the nature of your relationship.
- Focus on celebrating her role in raising your children and use it as a moment to remind your children – and yourself – that you remain a family.
Making The Most of Father’s Day
Father’s Day is an occasion to recognize the contribution of fathers and the important role they play in the lives of their children. Allowing your children to recognize the significant role of your ex-spouse in their lives is a responsibility you should take seriously, if for no other reason, to allow your children an opportunity to recognize and honor your ex-husband.
It is important to set aside any personal feelings or past bitterness you may harbor toward your ex and focus strictly on meeting the needs of your children in honoring Father’s Day. Your mannerisms and language toward your children when speaking to your children about any celebration will set an immediate tone for the events planned.
Keep a civil tone and refrain from making comments that can be interpreted as being spiteful or mean-spirited. Participate in any pre-planned activities and be willing to distance yourself from any activities your ex-spouse has planned with others involving your children on Father’s Day. If you are facing a step-parenting situation, remain respectful and understand that the new parent has the interests of your children at heart. Do not create conflict, and be willing to simply drop your children off for the day and make appropriate arrangements to pick them up.
Determining Custody and Co-Parenting Issues With Wall Legal Solutions
Divorce is never easy. It has a lifelong effect on all family members involved. When faced with a situation where divorce is imminent, it is best to get advice from experience law counselors for information on custody and co-parenting.Wall & Wall have been family law attorneys in practice since 1973; contact them here, or call (801) 274-3100 for a free consultation.