Reduce Divorce Stress
Avoiding stress is a necessary step to building a new life!
This is an opportunity to discover and reinvent oneself take advantage of this to learn more about yourself. Be open to change, let go of dreams associated with that companion, build new dreams for yourself and your children. Although you might be lonely right now, you don’t have to be lonely. Although you might now be financially insecure, you can make an effort today that will lay a foundation to be I the future. Identify those dreams and write them down, become aware of damaging behavior that might interfere with those goals and replace it with an alternative positive. Focus on your strengths, positive attributes and good things in your life. Focus on what is left in your glass and try to refill it with new healthy items. This will help you to feel strong and this strength will enable change and power from within. Have you children help around the home and teach responsibility. Do not take upon yourself all of the burdens that you have to bear. Spend time each day on your spiritual and physical self, this will greatly impact and balance the emotional side and help your perspective. One of the best things that you can offer your children is the best you – a you that is stronger and deeper. You can get through this – give yourself time.
Get educated with your state statutes regarding divorce and parenting time. (For example, visitation is not related or dependant upon the paying of child support. You can not withhold visitation with the children because child support is not being paid) This education with the legal system and a close relationship with your attorney and his office staff will give you the confidence that you are doing your best for you and your children.
Recommendations to Reduce Divorce Stress
It is important to reduce stress to maintain a healthy lifestyle
It is critical that one maintain balance to reduce emotions and stay in check during a divorce or separation. Here are some things you can do to reduce divorce stress:
- Keep a journal to organize and express emotions.
- Keep another journal to document all interactions with your ex-partner.
- Exercise, eat good foods and surround yourself with a healthy social support network.
- Tap into financial resources to support yourself financially and obtain legal counsel.
- Obtain a job or additional education to occupy oneself and increase self-esteem.
- Pay your bills meticulously – deal with your debts.
- Balance your emotional side with your physical and spiritual side.
- Talk to a therapist, counselor or psychiatrist.
- Get on medication if needed to help you and your children during this time of stress.
- Educate yourself with the stages of loss to understand where you are in the process of accepting this change in your life.
- Take responsibility for your contribution to the split in the relationship.
- Listen to good music and surround yourself with inspiring things.
- Dream and focus on building a future of endless possibilities.
- Take time for yourself.
- Keep a sense of humor.
- Develop new and healthy hobbies and interests.
- Be adventurous and try something new.
Anger Increases Stress
To reduce divorce stress, avoid feelings of anger.
Don’t allow yourself to become so angry and out of control. Anger is a stage of the grieving process. If you get stuck in the anger stage you will not be able to move forward and improve your situation and increase your happiness. Resolve your anger privately; get past it and work through it. Some obstacles to resolving anger include that you have to face the real problem at the core or you have no one else to blame. Remember that anger can be used either constructively or destructively. Don’t allow your ex-partner the control in your life by allowing your anger to negatively impact your life. Avoid bitterness and focus more on problem solving. Anger can motivate action to get a job, set limits or boundaries or push through fears. Take an accounting of your behavior regularly with the goal that you act like an adult – don’t regress and react like a five year old. Remember that three different drivers can be in a traffic jam all at the same time. One can be singing and experiencing pleasure, one can be talking on the cell phone and be energized or one can be hitting and cursing experiencing anger. The traffic jam is the same trigger but there are three different emotions. These different emotions are caused by a basic belief system and thought process. Focus on readjusting or beliefs and thoughts. The belief system or judgments that we have on others manipulate our responses. Our negative thought process will also manipulate our response. Take time to process frustrations and react very carefully and slowly. Learn communication skills and the process of how to create solutions. Learn how to manage and contain conflicts with your ex-partner. Try to be accepting rather than judgmental. Try to always focus on the positive. This will greatly influence your feelings and surroundings. Establish healthy co-parenting patterns with your ex-partner. Perhaps start a relationship of emailing your ex-partner so conversations do not get so heated. Be very careful and conscience of what you write or how you respond.
Maintain a healthy lifestyle.
Stay away from alcohol or drugs completely. You will jeopardize your parental rights. Don’t bring home casual dates and expose your children to many companions. Don’t become sexually promiscuous. Many divorcing couples find themselves lonely and seek constant or intimate companionship of the opposite sex. You may possibly want to delay dating to get yourself back on your feet emotionally. Be weary of things that you may be seeking out to make yourself feel good and perhaps become addicted or unbalanced. This is a very difficult time; recognize your vulnerabilities. Protect your vulnerabilities and guard yourself from making detrimental decisions during this difficult time. Energize your social life to include healthy and positive people. As you socialize and feel comfortable with others this will help build your feelings about your self-worth.
Wall & Wall Attorneys at Law PC
Trusted family law attorneys dedicated to helping you through divorce
We care about our clients success. Whether during a divorce, or after, we want our clients to successfully traverse Utah’s legal system and be happy with the results. We will do everything we can to protect your rights and the rights of your children through a divorce. If you might face a divorce, or currently facing one with inadequate legal representation, call us today for a free consultation. We’ll explain further about ways you can reduce divorce stress and maintain a healthy lifestyle.